Stella really doesn’t like baths. As soon as I carry her into the bathroom she starts shaking. She looks up at me with her 10 year old puppy dog eyes when I set her in the tub, as though she wants me to know that she’s not mad, just disappointed.

There is a resignation in the way Stella allows me to give her a bath. As if a part of her knows that this really is for the best, but that she’s not going to enjoy it. She doesn’t try to bite me or jump out of the tub, she just stands there trembling as I turn on the shower and let the water warm up.

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I stand staring at the stone wall in front of me. Deep in the depths, and I have come to a dead end. This can’t be. Solid rock. No doors, no tunnels. I reach out and touch the wall. Cold, hard, immovable. The flickering light of a torch reveals only rock on every side except for the way I came.

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Wow, this is a surreal moment!

I actually did it, I wrote a whole sci-fi novel, and in less than a week you will be able to buy it! It has been one of those things that I knew I wanted to do for basically my whole life, but I had never quite felt ready to start until three years ago.

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I have become something of a professional permission-giver.

Sometimes there is a lot of deep work that needs to be done to break through blocks and dissolve limiting beliefs.

But sometimes you just need that validation that yes, you’re not crazy, you’re not delusional, and your intuition is correct.

In these cases it is my job is to facilitate that embodied knowing – feeling it in your body that, “Yes, this is the right thing for me to do.”

So let’s get right to it – here is your permission.

Yes, to do THAT.

Go. Start. The decision is not blocking you anymore. Maybe you don’t believe it yet, but it’s true.

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I remember back 10 or 11 or 12 years ago, I was out shooting an interview. I used to get hired to go out and shoot interviews for the special features of old movies being re-released on Blu-ray. One time I got to interview John Turturro about his role in Barton Fink. One time I got to interview Howard Shore about doing the soundtrack for The Exorcist 3 or some shit.

On that day I was out in New Jersey interviewing the writer of a moderately successful horror movie from the 80s.

When I did these interviews the producer would send me an address and list of questions/topics to cover. Sometimes I would do a little research on the movie… sometimes I went in blind. I’m good at improvising.

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Two pirates are standing by a cannon inside a pirate ship. One of them is peering out of a porthole while the other loads the cannon.

The pirate peering out shouts, “Look lively, ‘ere she comes! Bri’ish Navy scum! We’ll give ‘em what fer!”

“Ready to fire, matey! On yer mark!” shouts the other pirate, pushing the cannon into position and holding the smoldering match cord ready.

The first pirate pauses and strokes his chin. “I’m just not sure if it’s the right time though – economically ya know? What’s the cost of cannonballs these days? Iron prices are up… it can’t be cheap… and what if we run out of cannonballs and then the perfect shot lines up? That would be a shame, wouldn’t it?”

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If you saw some of yourself in my story, remember that there are seasons to this shit. You may still be in the germination phase. In sustainable farming practices, there are entire seasons where a “cover crop” is planted – not so that it can be harvested, but purely so it can cover the field, protect the soil from erosion, and then die and replenish the soil for future seasons. Your current stage of life might be a cover crop, with the purpose of returning nutrients to the soil for whatever amazing things will grow next.

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I generally avoid guarantees, but in this case I GUARANTEE that if you find something that really lights you up and you do the work for long enough – not just thinking about the work, talking about the work, or looking for shortcuts to get around the work – SOMETHING will happen. It may not be what you expected, but it will be something. New people, connections, opportunities, and situations will appear. They will reflect the quality of the work you have put in. And then you can celebrate and do more work.

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