Last weekend in New York City we got quite a bit of snow. And anyone who has lived in NYC knows that the aftermath of a big snowstorm equals days and often weeks of dirty gray snow and ice.
Cars parked on the street buried up to the windows by snow plows. Sidewalks blocked by giant snow boulders and sheets of ice.
Each morning this past week I put four little snow boots on the feet of my dog Stella and ventured out for our walk. There are still a few narrow and icy spots on our route, but for the most part there is enough space to walk.
For the past few days, however, there has been a car parked right in the middle of the sidewalk on one of the blocks we walk on. I live in a semi-industrial part of Brooklyn, so it’s not uncommon to see things like this from time to time.
When I first saw it I was annoyed – the car was directly blocking the sidewalk, and due to the piles of snow it was forcing anyone who wanted to pass to scramble over ice boulders and snow piles to get around, or else backtrack back down the block.
We made our way around the car and I thought to myself “Wow, what a jerk!” and then forgot about it.
The next day as we rounded the corner I saw an older lady with a wheely-cart of groceries struggling her way around the car. By the time I got there she had made her way around, but I could tell it had taken her a lot of effort. She could have easily slipped on the ice and fallen. This car had now crossed the line from inconveniencing me to putting little old ladies in danger!
The next day I walked by the car, already feeling annoyed, and this time I noticed a note tucked under the windshield wiper. “Dear Asshole, this is a sideWALK, famously put here for pedestrians to WALK on. Not cars to park. PLEASE STOP! Love, your neighbors.”
I chuckled. Whoever had written this note had struck the perfect tone. Clear and direct and a bit playful. Reprimanding while still loving.
And it occurred to me - maybe the owner of the car really didn’t know how much they were inconveniencing everyone. Maybe they did and didn’t care. Whatever the intention, the reality was that something had been put where it didn’t belong. There was an obstruction.
And this is how we get blocked internally, isn’t it? At some point you park a car on the sidewalk of your internal landscape because that’s the only spot you can find and you are in a rush. You’re too tired to keep looking for parking. You tell yourself you will come back and move it, but then days pass, weeks pass, and you figure it’s fine to leave it a little longer.
And meanwhile the pedestrians have to scramble their way over the ice chunks and slush to get around. One of them leaves a note. But only the part of you that put the car there can move it. You need the keys. You need the will and energy to put the car where it belongs.
I know I have found cars parked in wildly inconvenient places in my own psyche. Semi-trucks parked in flower gardens. They weren’t easy to move, but once I see them there’s no unseeing them, and I know they have to go.
I’m always pleasantly surprised to find that when I really face reality, examine the truck, and accept that it is there, I can get into the driver’s seat. I find that the keys are on the dashboard, or on the floor, or already in the ignition, and I can back the truck away and drive it off to the highway. The flower garden always appreciates it.
Is there a car parked on your sidewalk? A semi-truck in your flower garden? You don’t need to know exactly where it is right now, or why it’s there, but just know that you don’t have to keep tiptoeing around it every day, one wrong step away from slipping on the ice.
You don’t want to be an asshole to yourself, do you? It’s okay, you’re forgiven. Gently, lovingly… move the damn car!
If you are having trouble moving your car off the sidewalk, I have a couple client slots available beginning this month. My mission is to make the world a better place by helping people embody their true potential – people who make healthy decisions, form strong secure relationships, create positive change in their communities, and make their dreams reality.